my lesson is this I don't give a shit

okay you cannot let a fear of failure or
a fear of comparison or a fear of
judgment stop you from doing what's
going to make you great you cannot
succeed without this risk of failure you
cannot have a voice without the risk of
criticism and you cannot love without
the risk of loss you must go out and you
must take these recipes and people will
tell you to do what makes you happy but
a lot of this has been hard work and I'm
not always happy and I don't think you
should do this what makes you happy I
think you should do what makes you great
do what's uncomfortable and scary and
hard but pays off in the long run be
willing to fail let yourself fail fail
in the way in the place where you would
want to fail failed pick yourself up and
fail again because without this struggle
what is your success many way look at us
we know it we have one life in it you
have to trust your own voice your own
ideas your honesty your vulnerability
and through this you'll find your way
you do not have to be fearless
just don't let fear stop live like this
as best you can and I guarantee you will
look back on a life going
but the California $700 in my pocket and
my toddler and I have to fight the good
fight because people are telling me I
can't you can't do this you can't are
you crazy you're moving to hell going
with your friend you'll never make it
I was 26 when I decided to come here
there's the age thing all you're too old
if you listen to people and if you allow
people to project their fears onto you
you won't leave what if I believe those
people who told me that obvious when I
became pregnant in college that I
wouldn't finish I walk across that stage
with my front on my head and I collected
my degree my song I didn't hear the
naysayers when they like you're too old
to go to California if you don't hit my
25 you're not going to make it I will be
46 this year I have just touched the
surface I am just getting started I
wasn't born with a silver spoon in my
mouth you know I had a passion I had a
dream and I died I dived in and I met
for my dream and it all starts with you
you know you're the temple and you have
control you're in a bad situation it's
up to you to get out of it you can't
give another human the responsibilities
of your happiness
[Music]
when you have a dream it doesn't often
come at you screaming in your face this
is who you are this is what you must be
for the rest of your life sometimes a
dream almost whispers and I've always
said to my kids the hardest thing to
listen to your instincts your human
personal intuition always whispers it
never shouts very hard to hear so you
have to every day of your lives be ready
to hear what whispers in your ear it's
very rarely shouts and if you can listen
to the whisper and if it tickles your
heart and it's something you think you
want to do for the rest of your life
then that is going to be what you do for
the rest of your lives
and we will benefit from everything you
do thank you very much
[Music]
don't be unconscious all day on your
phone don't we live now in a bit of a
very shallow world pop culture is
extremely shallow and we're just asking
the world to get deep I don't like
wasting my time spending days just
shaking people's hands and smiling
taking selfies feels shallow
to my assistants I have a lot more to
offer than the image I don't like being
used to make people money I feel sad
when I'm overworked and that I've just
become a money-making machine and that
my passion and my creativity take a
backseat that makes me unhappy so what
do they do
sighs just say no I'm not doing that I
don't want to do that not taking that
picture not going to that event not
standing by that that's not what I stand
for and slowly but surely I remembered
Who I am and then you go home and you
look in the mirror and you're like yes I
can go to bed with you every night
[Music]
laughter the soft mushy animal that
lives inside of the rigid shell that
rigid shell does not expand well how can
the lobster growth well as the lobster
grows that shell becomes very confining
and the kind of the lobster feels itself
under pressure and uncomfortable it goes
under a rock formation to protect itself
from predatory fish casts off the shell
and produces a new one well eventually
that shell becomes very uncomfortable as
it grows and right back under the rocks
grip and the lobster repeats this
numerous times this stimulus for the
lobster to be able to grow is that it
feels uncomfortable right now
if lobsters had doctors they would never
grow because as soon as the lobster
feels uncomfortable goes to the doctor
gets a valium gets a percocet feels fine
never cuts off itself so I think that we
have to realize that we have to realize
that times of stress are also times that
our signals for growth and if we use
adversity properly we can grow through
adversity
I personally am most unworthy
but I wrote a girl child from the street
and I could see in the face of the child
as child was hungry
God knows how many ways that not eaten
by gathered piece of grain and then
everyone started eating the bread crumbs
like crumb ignites heat I said to the
child keep the face in the place and she
looked at music I'm afraid to take the
place because I'm afraid when it is
finished I will be hungry again
this is a reality maybe we are not
hungry for a piece of bread but maybe
there is somebody there in the family
who is unwanted unloved I have forgotten
then enough loves against us both I love
to be true as to hurt and this is what I
brings the foil to love one another the
great lover
[Music]
your need for acceptance can make you
invisible in this world like many of you
I was concerned about going out into the
world and doing something bigger than
myself until someone smarter than myself
made me realize that there is nothing
bigger than myself
don't let anything stand in the way of
the light that shines through this form
risk being seen in all of your glory our
eyes are not viewers they are also
projectors that are running a second
story over the picture that we see in
front of us all the time
fear is writing that script and the
working title is I'll never be enough
spend your whole life imagining ghosts
worrying about the pathway to the future
but all there will ever be is what's
happening here
and the decisions we make in this moment
which are based in either love or fear
so many of us choose our path out of
fear disguised as practicality
what we really want seems impossibly out
of reach and ridiculous to expect so we
never dare to ask the universe for it
I'm saying I'm the proof that you can
ask the universe
I realized one night in LA the purpose
of my life had always been to free
people from concern just like like that
I did something
that made people present their best
selves to me wherever I go
how will you serve the world what do
they need that your talent can provide
that's all you have to figure out I can
tell you from experience the effect you
have on others the most valuable
currency there is you can fail and we
don't work so you might as well take a
chance on doing what you love relax and
dream up a good life this is the most
important and crucial period of your
lives for what you do now and what you
decide now at this age may well
determine which way your life shall go
and the question is whether you have a
proper a solid and a sound blueprint and
I would have suggest some of the things
that should be in your life's blueprint
number one in your life's blueprint
should be a deep belief in your own
dignity your own Worth and your own
somebody needs don't allow anybody to
make you feel that you are nobody always
feel that you count always feel that you
have Worth and always feel that your
life has ultimate significance second
leg
in your life's blueprint you must have
as a basic principle the determination
to achieve excellence in your various
fields of endeavor you're going to be
deciding as a even the years unfold what
you will do in life
what your life's work will be once you
discover what it will be set out to do
it and to do it well be a Bushman you
can't be a tree if you can't be a
highway just be a trail if you can't be
the Sun be a star or is it my size that
you win or you fail be the path of
whatever you are Holliday and your lash
glue trap must be a commitment to the
eternal principles of beauty love
and justice
well life - none of us has been a
crystal staff we must keep moving we
must keep going if you can't fly run
if you can't run walk if you can't walk
call but by all means keep moving
[Applause]
[Music]
you will fail at some point in your life
accept it you will lose you will
embarrass yourself you will suck at
something there's no doubt about it
I was a 1.8 GPA one semester and the
University very politely suggested that
it might be better to take some time off
I was 20 years old I was at my lowest
point but here's the thing I didn't quit
I didn't fall back but I continued to
fail and fail and fail but it didn't
matter because you know what there's an
old saying you hang around the
barbershop long enough sooner or later
you're going to get a hat
so you will catch a break and I did
catch a break last year I did a play
called tension on Broadway it was at the
same theatre that I failed at first
audition 30 years prior Thomas Edison
kentuc today and failed experiments you
know that not a movie because the 1000
and first was the light bulb or forward
sometimes the best way to figure out
where you go never be discouraged never
hold back give everything you've got and
when you fall throughout life remember
this all forward
[Music]
you know as we come to the end of this
phase of our life we find ourselves
trying to remember the good time and
trying to forget the bad time we find
ourselves thinking about the future
start to worry thinking what am I going
to do where am I going to be in 10 years
[Music]
but I say to you hey look at me
please who worry so much because in the
end none of us are very long on this
earth hi sweetie
and if you ever distressed cast your
eyes to the summer sky
when the stars are strung across the
velvety night when a shooting star
streaks through the blackness turning
night and today make a wish
think of me make your life spectacular I
know I did
[Music]
you
[Music]

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